Bonus: 1993 Covered Wagon President's Message

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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The purposes of the Shasta Historical Society are to collect and preserve knowledge about the continuing history of Shasta county and, when appropriate, of adjoining areas; To maintain a depository of such historical material to serve as a research library for its members; And to spread the knowledge of local history for the education and enjoyment of the public.

Recently a local businessman had occasion to visit the Society's library. There he was greeted by the sight of five people in a cluttered, 16-foot square room, working elbow to elbow on different tasks in perfect concentration and harmony. He later told me that he was so stunned by this intense atmosphere that it took him several moments to collect his thoughts and state his reason for being there.

No doubt, at first glance, we appear to be a random collection of frenetic, self-absorbed elves all doing our own thing. But after watching for a while it becomes evident that it this more like quilting bee: we see a group of highly-motivated, able people, each working on one part of the design, and all contributing their ideas on what the final product should be.

Since the Society was established in 1930, we have stuck pretty close to the basic pattern in our mission statement. However, we have had to add and rearrange pieces as we evolved from a social group to a real community resource. Now as we stand back and look, we can see areas that need to be filled in. Access to our collection needs to be more user-friendly. Our programs could be improved. We should be more involved in our community. And the good news is that we have resources available to work on these areas.

What have we done since June, 1992 when the last Covered Wagon was issued?

• We obtained a grant to publish a book of photos from our collection in fall, 1993 (it's now in preparation);
• We funded a small college scholarship in memory of Miss Veronica Satorius;
• We added a third computer to our library to simplify access to our collection;
• In partnership with Trinitarianus Chapter, E Clampus Vitis, we sponsored an interpretive sign at the new Tower House bridge in the National Park Service Whiskeytown Recreational Area; and
• In early 1993, we hired our first employee, Wayne Rich, to work in our library at the Redding museum and hopefully add some continuity to our volunteer operation.

It is hard to predict what other opportunities will have shown up by the time you read this (it's being written in January because of press deadlines). The projects above didn't happen by themselves just because the Board of Directors approved them - worthwhile things get done only when capable people do them.

So if you subscribe to our mission statement, this is your invitation to phone, write or visit us at the museum. It's always nice to see a new face (or an old one) and to hear new ideas.

- Bert T. Walsh
President

Political Correctness (January 1997)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Politically correct? In Shasta County?

It strikes us that we are passing up a good deal of humor because it would offend some segment of our membership. What we need is some community that can be slandered without giving offense to any of our readers. Right off the bat we can write off ethnic origins and go directly to locations in Shasta County.

We considered Montgomery Creek, Platina. Ono, Cottonwood, Sims and Oak Run. However, we decided to be a little discreet; those folks can get a little testy when insulted. We can't even use a place that isn't on the map any more, because somebody`s forebear might have been born there. Finally we narrowed things down between Gibson and Conant.

We picked on Conant because it is a classier place. It has its own freeway offramp, one house and an old cemetery that is best visited during the winter months when the poison oak has died down. I am sure that William R. Conant had great plans for the place, but they seem to have proceeded very slowly. Now, to illustrate what can be done with this politically neutral location, we present for your edification a  smattering of "Conant" jokes. To challenge our readers, we list the lead-ins first and the punch lines, arranged out of order, next. The challenge is to find the punch line that best fits the lead-in. Go to it, gang.

• They have a lot of trouble with the plumbing in Conant, because...
• The president of the Conant Historical Society was recently awarded a gold medal...
• The high school principal used to live in Cottonwood, but he moved to Conant last year...
• Where is Conant's 911 dispatch center? 
• Why can't you get newspaper delivery in Conant?
• What's black & white and sleeps two?
• How can you tell who the mayor of Conant is?
• How do they get the kids out of the swimming hole at dinnertime?
• Why did they have to cancel the Christmas pageant?

• It's too hard to throw uphill from the freeway.
• He is the fellow wearing a clean John Deere cap.
• They just throw in a cake of soap.
• It was impossible to find three wise men.
• It drains uphill.
• Her husband had it bronzed.
• The Conant City police car.
• The pool hall in Castella.
• It raised the level of intelligence in both places.

P. S. In case we have managed to offend someone in Conant in spite of our diligent efforts, we will be glad to make amends by offering him/her a free subscription to our Newsletter.

--BTW

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Membership (May 1996)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Here is a fascinating item gleaned from the Question & Answer column of our favorite newspaper: The official Betty Boop Fan Club was founded in l980, has 400 members and sends out a yearly newsletter.

Think about this. Our Society was founded in 1930 and has nearly one and a half times the membership. Is this because we are older? Or is Shasta County history possibly more interesting than 1930s cartoons? Maybe our Newsletter and/or our programs are more interesting. Perhaps our mission statement is more inspiring, our leadership more farsighted and our members more culturally astute. I'll have to think about this for a while.

Meanwhile, if you find that your loyalties are divided, the address of the Betty Boop Fan club is given as 12350 Marshall Avenue, Chino, CA 91710-2523; the phone number is (714) 628-0399.

--BTW

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Note: The Official Betty Boop Fan Club above is no more. It is now less of a club, and more a merchandise platform, run by Fleischer Studios (the character was created by Max Fleisher), as well as on popular social media platforms: https://www.bettyboop.com/. 

The Meaning of Life, continued (April 1996)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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We hardly ever go to the movies any more. There doesn't seem to be much point since we lost John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. It seems easier to sit at home and use the TV channel selector to search for the true Meaning of Life.

However, last month in protest against the sex, violence and really depressing local newscasts on TV we thought we would take in a movie, Things sure have changed. Why, the first thing I noticed is that they sell popcorn in something that looks like a five-gallon pail. Not only that; it seems they have five or ten different movies going on at the same time. Fortunately they show them in different rooms. This minimizes the confusion, although not entirely. A person still has to find the right room and then remember which one it is every time the popcorn bucket needs refilling.

Later on it occurred to me that this was the ideal way to handle Society meeting programs after we have increased membership from 600 to 6000 folks. On any typical meeting day, we would have several programs going at once. We might have a Seminar on the True Meaning of Life, a rescreening of my daughter`s wedding with film clips of our grandson spliced in, the ultimate Jean Beauchamp slide show, "Over the South Pole by Balloon," and warming up on the runway at Anderson International Airport would be a chartered 797 ready to whisk us off on an afternoon tour of the Overland Trail from Missouri to California.

How about it, gang-are you ready for the Future? 

--BTW

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Demographics (March 1996)

 This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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I kind of enjoy getting up to our place in the hills. Part of the fun is the ride up the county road. This time of year it's nice to see the new calves and lambs, and with the cattle down on winter range, one can watch the cowboys doing their thing. It's also interesting to see whose rig is parked at whose place and to speculate what sort of mischief they might he up to. With county elections coming up, it is instructive to note the "VOTE FOR" signs on gate posts--sort of an unofficial political poll. (There ought to be a pun here about polled Herefords/Heryfords, but I'm not sure how to work it in) The FOR SALE signs are also worth noting. They can give a reading on the economy. 

The dog enjoys this too; she knows just where to bark and raise a fuss and sucker other dogs into chasing the car. And then there is the recognition game--whoever spots an oncoming neighbor and waves first wins. 

I suppose that folks have been doing this sort of thing for as long as there have been towns, mines, farms, ranches and roads thereto. This is kind of a link with the past, and a lot more fun than using the freeway.

I thought it was interesting when Jack Haner took a pig to the Fair. However, he has nothing on our Marilyn Carter, who brought her pig (pot belly) to the Museum. She encountered a problem-the museum attendants couldn't decide how much admission to charge. That's a real shame...

Marilyn is the new Publications Sales & Distribution czar (czarina?). We haven't found a job for the pig yet, though his name did come up for consideration by the Nominating committee. 

--BTW

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Database Enhancement Program (December 1995)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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This month, in this space, we are proud to unveil our new Database Enhancement Program designed to radically revitalize your Society. 

How does it work? Simplicity itself. Every one of our 600 members will send out 10 letters to friends and acquaintances asking them to send $12.50 to join the Society. With 100% cooperation we should gain 6,000 new members. Carrying this forward one step, if every one of the 6,000 new members writes to 10 other individuals asking them to send $12.50 to one of the original 600 members we will have 600 new historical societies each with 100 members.

Beyond this the math gets kind of difficult, but the implications are staggering. With 66,600 active historians in the area, setting up and scheduling meetings could become a problem. However, on the plus side, the Covered Wagon would start to look like the National Geographic, Viacom would show nothing but the History Channel, and no doubt we would pick up at least 20 more volunteers.

OK, gang, you have caught the vision, so let's whip out those ball-point pens and start writing our friends and neighbors. 

--BTW

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Happy Thanksgiving (November 1995)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Happy Thanksgiving! The Horsetown Improvement Society is planning a Thanksgiving Dinner for the homeless. The main course will be an emu roasted in the Briggsville lime kiln. There is some controversy over recipes for stuffing. Would pine nuts work instead of chestnuts? Can acorn meal be used to thicken the gravy? Address all suggestions to the Society, "Attention: Gloria."

--BTW

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Note: This was an "inside" joke: Gloria Clark was the long-suffering wife of Dr. Gene Clark, who organized the Horsetown-Clear Creek Preserve at the site of the first gold discovery in Shasta County. [MRW]

Pig (October 1995)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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It seems that a farmer was taking a pig to the livestock exhibit at the fair when he had a fender bender and had to get his truck to the garage. Jack Haner happened to be passing by and he offered to take the pig on down to the fair. The very next day the farmer spotted the pig riding around with Jack and naturally asked what was going on. Well, it turned out that Jack and the pig had such a good time at the fair that they decided to take in a ball game the very next day. 

--BTW

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The Bridges of Shasta County (September 1995)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Well, it's been quite a summer. Way back in June, I decided that the 1996 Covered Wagon really needed an artistic photo essay on the bridges of Shasta County. So first crack out of the barrel, I strapped a camera around my neck and took off cruising around in my truck.

You know I had forgotten just how friendly people are. The first place I stopped to ask about picturesque old bridges, the lady couldn't think of any, but she asked me in for punch and cookies while she thought some more. Well, she never thought of any but we sure had a great time talking. 

I tried another place the next week and would you believe that almost the same exact thing happened. The lady there was very helpful and friendly. She couldn`t think of any old bridges, but her goodies were delicious.

Gosh, that's just the way it went all summer. I got acquainted with a whole bunch of real nice ladies who are just fascinated with old bridges and stuff. but I never got to take even one picture. Somewhere along  the way I misplaced my good sun hat and Hillary's camera. I think it was at that place where the lady baked some kind of herbs in her brownies. Gosh, I wish I could recall where that was. 

--BTW

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Curation (May 1995)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Among recent additions to our library is a collection of "Wanted" posters that were prominently displayed in post offices all over the country. This was a gift from an anonymous donor who stated that the collection included his ancestors for the last six generations.

In accordance with current museum conservation practice, the posters have been mounted on flypaper and sealed in Saran Wrap. They were then sorted in accordance with the various crimes committed. As a matter of interest, we have six boxes of cattle thieves, but only two of bigamists. This is an interesting commentary of what our forebears considered important enough to prosecute during the formative years of our country.

The collection is of significant value to genealogists. For example, on just one rainy afternoon your editor was able to document his family tree all the way back to colonial times. 

--BTW

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Hybridization, Part 2 (April 1995)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Awhile back one of our members, a noted authoress, mentioned that she had spotted what appeared to be a two-legged pig with feathers near the Whitmore Fire Hall. Right away I sensed that this was something out of the ordinary that might be interesting to our readers. So I made a point of discussing this with some of the naturalists from the Horsetown-Clear Creek Preserve, and we uncovered a fascinating story.

Evidently Mother Nature has managed (Lord knows how) to breed a turkey with a wild boar. These beasts are quite shy and are rarely seen. However, during mating season they produce a distinctive call that has been compared to that of a coyote trapped in a washing machine. The "borkey's" main diet consists of digger pine cones and mashed acorns. The taste of the meat is difficult to describe; it has to be experienced.

These animals can be domesticated and raised just like any other livestock. But because they roost in trees, they have to be herded with a helicopter. Also one has to be very cautious when roping them. Early on there were some really bad accidents when the loop got caught in the rotor blades and the cowboys didn't think to let go. 

--BTW

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James McSheehy (March 1995)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Moving momentarily away from our area, I would like to share some remarks made by San Francisco Supervisor James McSheehy, circa 1918 to 1941. As McSheehy once said, "These are crouched in language which is perfectly oblivious."

"It has all the earmarks of an eyesore."

"You are putting the horse before the cart."

"Ladies, I have here some figures which you can carry in your heads, which I know are concrete."

"I may have been ill and unable to attend meetings, but no one has a right to say I've been incumbent."

Gosh, if James is till around, I wonder if he would like to write the newsletter.

--BTW

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Setting Fence Posts (February 1995)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Recently I had occasion to drive a row of metal fence posts into the ground. After the January rains this turned out to be easy work. However, digging holes for the corner posts was like trying to bail sludge with a round-point shovel. That job will have to wait 'til the ground firms up and then we can stretch the wire in July after the ground has set up like concrete. Whoever said that there is a time and place and season for everything really had it right--at least in regard to Shasta County soil conditions.

Maybe this also applies to what the Society does. Back in the 1970s whenever we received a request for information, it was brought up at a general meeting and someone would volunteer to come up with an answer-usually from memory. Today, we outfield one or two phone calls per day. About 20 or 30 people per month show up at the library with notebooks to do serious research, and Hazel McKim somehow manages to stay ahead of the questions that come in by mail. No doubt about it-there is increased public interest in local history, and we are at the right place with the right stuff at the right time. Now if we can continue to attract the right volunteers to help us do our thing, we may yet get organized.

--BTW

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This Newsletter (January 1995)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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We have had a peek at a letter from Bob Stone of the Sacramento Canyon turnpike Stones) questioning the validity of a claim that the first woman to set foot on the summit of Mt. Shasta was Mrs. N. H. Eddy, on September 9, 1856. Bob points out that the first of three Eddy children was born on October 7, 1856, and marvels at Mrs. Eddy's stamina. Thank heaven the letter was not addressed to  us. I don't feel that we could have provided a reasonable historic or medical opinion.

Your mind is like a parachute. It's useless if it is not open.

Wayne and I have a secret pal and it's fair to say that without her contributions, the content of this newsletter would be even more incomprehensible to a normal person. 

The way it works is like this: I write down everything we think ought to be said, plus some nonsense to fill up the blank space. Then Wayne keyboards it into the machine with the screen, and puts little boxes and cartoons around the important stuff so the reader knows what to read. After that the machine prints the thing out and then the real work begins. At this point someone has to go over the whole thing and frown a lot and put in all the periods, commas, colons, and semicolons that are necessary to give meaning to everything we said.

Sometimes the spelling has to be corrected too. And then as a final touch we take out and add apostrophes--and I'm blessed if I know why. Changing those little marks around doesn't make things any easier to understand. They must be like neckties. People use 'em even though they are of no earthly use. Using apostrophes is like riding a bicycle--if you get it right the first time then you never forget how. On the other hand, I have problems with apostrophes, neckties, bicycles, skunks, and sometimes even horses. Oh! (",:/?':-")--Thank goodness for our secret pal!

--BTW

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The "secret pal" was none other than Madge, his wife, who among other things, wielded a mean read pencil while still keeping his humor intact.

Fancy Coffee (December 1994)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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If it isn't one darn thing it's another. Seems like nobody in the world drinks coffee anymore. One may sip Espresso, Cappuccino, Latte, or Mocha nowadays but coffee is not politically correct unless it is double strength, tastes like candy, and has suds on top. So in order to stay current on this fad, we are proud to offer our readers the following simple gourmet beverage recipe:

To one cup of water add 3 spoons of Instant Sanka and the same quantity of Ovaltine. Cook in the microwave until it splatters, and top with a dab of Kool Whip. You like it with foam on top? No problem! Just drop in an Alka Seltzer tablet. Enjoy.

--BTW

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Hybridization (November 1994)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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There is something strange going on here and I am at a loss to explain it. You may have noticed that Wayne has discovered a way to manipulate the desktop publishing program so that the newsletter is in a two-column format instead of just printing from left to right on the paper as we did in school. This looks neat and professional--just like a newspaper and most other newsletters. But for some reason when we print all the news in the two-column format there is space leftover. Why is this??We have the same amount of stuff and the same size of paper. The trigonometry of the thing just escapes me.

But here's a public service announcement that should take up the extra space:

Scientists have come up with a way to cross Hereford cattle with an ostrich. The real challenge here was to find a bull with a lot of imagination and a really good-natured bird. Blindfolding them is a good idea. This produces a great meat animal; half white meat and half lean beef with drumsticks like you wouldn't believe.

The Herefrich has very, very long legs so they can move from place to place in nothing flat. This saves the trouble and expense of moving them by trailer. The tough part is retraining your cattle dogs. They have to be taught to operate a motorcycle in order to keep up with the herd.

Next month we plan to tell you how to train buffalo as household pets. If you start working with them early on, they can be taught to catch mice. 

---BTW

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President Emeritus, Or The Meaning of Life (October 1994)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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My hamster died when it fell into a bucket of varnish.

It was a sad end but a fine finish.

Being a president emeritus is really lots of fun. Now that the dust has settled, I find that I've got one whole extra day every week available for contemplating the meaning of life.

Now some people meditate in front of TV screens or stare into barroom mirrors or computer screens. My particular thing is getting away to our place in the hills. After taking care of the minimal chores, it's nice to pour a cup of coffee and sit outside on the bench by the door where it's quiet and peaceful, look at the trees and try to discover the meaning of life.

But just when I've managed to get it all resolved, I fall asleep and when I wake up I've forgotten what it was. 

So I'm taking the easy way out. The circulation of this newsletter is over 600 families, and I'm sure that someone somewhere has hit on the true meaning of the universe. We need a program for the January meeting; I'm sure one of our readers could do a bang-up illustrated go-minute talk on the Purpose of Life as We Know It.

All you have to do is show up. We can provide an easel or slide projector and refreshments. If you would like an advance announcement in the newsletter, just let Wayne know. See you there. 

Geological Perturbations (continued) 

Now we all know that State Highway 299 West runs generally in a westerly direction. However, where it passes through old Shasta it tends in a northwesterly direction. This can be confusing, because a local inhabitant will swear to you on a stack of bibles that Whiskeytown is north of Shasta. This local orientation is hard to get used to and communication can become difficult.

This phenomenon is known as the Middle Creek Magnetic Discombobulation. It is said to be caused by something they put on the hamburgers at Jay Birds Cafe.

--BTW

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A Puzzlement (June 1994)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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???Puzzlement??? The record tells us that in 1932 a bronze tablet commemorating Major Reading's discovery of gold was set on a boulder at the northwest end of the old Highway 99 bridge across Clear Creek.

Imagine our surprise when we located this monument well south of the creek at the intersection of Canyon Road and the entrance to the Wintu Indian Bingo Facility. There have been some fascinating geological aberrations in our county's history: Outhouses have been overturned--tombstones, survey markers, fences and roads have occasionally shifted positions. But never a 5-ton boulder. Could this be the work of extraterrestrial beings, or perhaps gangs from Southern California?

Actually this puzzlement is due to random displacement along the Market Street Geological Rift. This will also explain why Highway 299 West enters town on Eureka Way and 299 East leaves town on Lake Boulevard a mile or so to the north.

--BTW

Note: Turns out there were two monuments, and our source mixed up their locations. The one on the northwest side of Clear Creek commemorated Bell's Bridge and was removed when a new building on Eastside Road dislocated it. The monument for Reading's gold discovery was and is southwest of the creek as described. A new plaque and monument is to be dedicated at the discovery site five miles upstream in May, 1998, during the California Sesquicentennial celebration.

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Math (May 1994)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Being of a mathematical turn of mind, I was musing the other evening and wondering how many generations of` Historical Society members each family unit could claim. Now we know that the society was founded in l930 by individuals old enough to have had grown families; so, let's assume that a new generation occurs every 20 years. This is reasonable, considering that births in Shasta County seem to occur early on and often. My golly, it's possible that we could have fourth generation members or even fifth generation. Without thinking too hard, I can come up with several third generation folks, and I have only a nodding acquaintance with local breeding permutations and begats.

Hey, let's have a contest to see who can boast of the most generations of Historical Society members! The winner will receive a free State lottery scratcher. In case of a tie, no prizes will be awarded. 

As historians, we can tolerate a reasonable amount of falsehood and exaggeration. And if you want to purchase memberships for your children at birth or even during the second trimester, the Treasurer has no problem with that. Simply mail your entries to the Society marked "Attention Incoming President."

--BTW

Note: The incoming president was Don Moore.

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Dues and Other Trivia (April 1994)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Once upon a time it seemed like we lived from payday to payday, and we owed more than we were worth. The good news was that we were not bothered too much by folks wanting help with worthy causes and neat business propositions. But just as soon as it became obvious that we could afford two kids and a dog, it seemed like every con artist and pest in the world moved in on us. I suppose this is why we have never discussed the Society's finances much. Life's a lot simpler if folks think you are poor. 

Every month Fred Becker puts together a four-page financial report. These are on file in the library if you like numbers. If you are willing to forego half and hour of crunching numbers, here's about what's happening: 

• Your dues pay for newsletters, programs, supplies, insurance, postage and members' copies of the Covered Wagon.
• Publication sales are paying the printing bill for new publications,
• To take care of big ticket items like Wayne's paycheck, scholarships, and historical markers, we have had income from two endowments for about a year and a half. These are set up so we cannot touch the principal. However, we can cut a fairly wide hog on the interest, which is paid once a year. To even out our cash flow, we park our annual income in interest-bearing mutual and money-market funds and draw off money from these as needed. 

After operating this way for about a year and a half, we have more $'s than when we started. So we are probably not as dumb as our newsletters might suggest. On the other hand, we should be spending more $'s and effort in support of our mission. We will be putting our 1994-1995 budget together pretty soon and want to include any projects you have in mind and are willing to put effort into. We don't lack for money, but we sure could use more unpaid talent.

I guess the most striking thing that has happened this month was the feedback we got from my mention of the Backwater Development Corporation. Several long-time Democrats suggested with some good humor that I give the G.O.P. equal exposure. Now the only reason I picked on President Bill was that I could identify with a good-looking hunk complete with a foxy wife and a liking for junk food. Identifying with George and Barbara Bush I'm afraid is just not in the cards--too much of a stretch.

But don't give up hope. I do believe that if we work on it, we can quite likely come up with a Ron and Nancy thing. They seem more like our kind of people. Once I get used to falling asleep at meetings and figure out that I'm married to "Mommie," I think that I can safely say that at no time did I attend a meeting with Colonel North. 

--BTW

===

The Skunk, Part II (March 1994)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

Back to the subject of skunks--I was told today that putting out a pan of  ammonia will keep skunks away. They can't stand the smell. Is this true? I have been told so many things by so many people on so many subjects that I just have no feeling whatsoever for the truth anymore.

In that vein, have I ever mentioned a land development scheme in which Hillary and I were involved in the l970s? It seems that this totally organic tribe of flower children had purchased 20 acres to pasture their goats on. However, the goats were making slow work of the manzanita, and it was winter and the trailer sprang a leak, the cesspool overflowed and there was some problem making the payments. Well, one thing led to another. and pretty soon we were riding the crest of the Shasta County land boom. This venture became known as the Backwater Development Corp.

Well, time passed, the note got paid off, we brought in electric power, an all-weather road, a well, and eventually a flush toilet with adjoining bedroom. During this time, we have learned to take pleasure in the natural rhythms of country life--the occasional gunfire from neighbors announcing the cocktail hour, periodic blasting from the quarry, and the absence of the stupid telephones ringing.

Hillary and I have decided that when we leave public life this will be the site of our presidential library. Most of the books are already in place, but we are having trouble locating one issue of Sports Illustrated on the subject of swimming suits. Can anyone help? 

--BTW

===

Target Practice (February 1994)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

When I was in the sixth grade, I noticed that I was bigger than most of my classmates. I asked my mother if this was because I was Irish. She gently answered, "No, son, it's because you are seventeen."

Our son came to spend the holidays with us, and we found that I still had some 22 ammunition dating back to World War II that we really should get rid of. So we went out to a remote area and set up some beer cans and matchbook covers to shoot at. Most of the rounds were still good, but I noticed a peculiar thing.

No matter how much I squinted my eye I couldn't locate the front sight. Well, naturally this didn't help my marksmanship at all. Eventually I started to remember where the front sight used to be in relation to the muzzle, and I got so I could hit the beer cans pretty consistently.

Now this is interesting, but you may well ask what all this has to do with the activities of the Shasta Historical Society. And in all honesty, I have to answer, "A whole lot!" Obviously, when you are not too smart and your ammunition is old and you can't zero in on things, you just have to fake it. 

--BTW

===

The Mailbox (January 1994)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

One loss is good for the soul. Too marry losses is bad for the coach.

--Knute Rockne

We recently received an Industry Verification Statement (single worksheet) from the California Employment Development Department, Labor Market Information Division. It seems they want to verify that we are a "selected membership organization such as art councils. athletic associations, auto owners' association and clubs. farm bureaus, farm granges, historical clubs (other than professional),  animal humane societies, poetry associations, and/or reading rooms for religious material. Please circle those that apply."

Now this is the kind of gut-wrenching decision that seems to crop up every time we open the mail. Realizing that it makes good sense to keep all our options open, I circled the whole darn paragraph. They aren't going to outfox us.

The very next thing the sly bureaucrats wanted was whom to contact if they had further questions. This riddle really took some thought. I finally put down Fred Becker's¹ name; he is about the most patient and tolerant person I know. But realizing that Fred wouldn't like to be disturbed at home, I gave them the phone number for the Public Library. Fred spends a lot of time there. 

This is just one small example of the sort of conscientious effort your Society puts into maintaining its image. Boy, I can hardly wait to open next week's mail!

--BTW

===

¹Fred Becker was Treasurer of the Society at the time.

Yuletide Greetings (December 1993)

 This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

I don't know about you but I really have a hard time getting pumped up about the holiday season. For one thing, there is the nagging worry and indecision about what color nightgown to buy for Hillary. Then there is all the trauma of trying to get the house clean and keeping it clean until guests arrive to mess it up, not to mention the ordeal of getting up at daylight and pushing gooshy stuffing into a clammy, limp turkey. Yuk!

One of the upbeat seasonal affairs is the Society's Yuletide feeding frenzy. It's a chance to mellow out and socialize with other history nuts. Funny how different programs appeal to different folks. Some people flip out over picnics or bus tours or hikes and some just show up at the museum on rainy days. Maybe our programs have gotten into a rut.

Now in 1994 there is no reason why we can't try some really innovative things like maybe cockfighting, poker tournaments, Indian bingo, hog calling, a turkey shoot, or how about challenging the Genealogical Society to a tug of war? By golly, let's try a chili cookoff, a spelling bee, a pie-eating contest, sack racing, a beauty contest, or maybe a fashion show. Hot darn, I can hardly wait. And this just scratches the surface.

I know that many of our readers have equally wonderful program ideas. Please rush these to the Society c/o P. T. Barnum. We are all agog with anticipation.

BTW

===

The Skunk (Nov 1993)

 This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

It's been a normal sort of summer; most of the creeks are drying up. We had just finished addressing the latest newsletter, and it seemed to me that I was going dry, too. Nothing had happened that was worth sharing in this issue. Then bingo, something really dynamic occurred: Evidently a skunk had been raiding the apple tree, and the dog had intervened. The result was blood all over the place and a really bad aura.

After all of the marital dialogue had died down, and I was cleaning the dog, the thought came to me that maybe animals have historical societies too. What we had witnessed here was probably an honest difference of opinion on acquisition policy. It must have been a really important meeting, too, because the cat didn't come in until 3:00 a.m. Carrying this a step farther, I reasoned that I was carrying out my proper function as Commander-in-Chief by cleaning up the mess and trying to get rid of the stink.  Hillary, of course, got up later and let the cat in.

There are several lessons to be learned here. The dog learned that it is well to keep one's mouth shut when confronting a skunk. And I found out about a great preparation called Skunk Off. It does a real job of neutralizing the aftermath. There is still half a bottle left and it seems kind of selfish to hang on to it when there are so many folk in Washington, Sacramento and even locally who could use a few drops. How about it, gang, should we keep the Skunk Off in our archives as sort of a perpetual trophy, or does anyone have a better idea?

--BTW

===

Annual Report (October 1993)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

Well, it's time for the annual report to the membership on the Society's activities and the state of things in general. I guess you can refer to last November's newsletter because we're still doing the same things. Of course, now we have Wayne to take care of the logical, orderly and neat stuff. This gives everyone else more time to deal with illogical, messy things like the newsletter, finances, cataloging the collection and occasionally answering the mail.

Now it's come to our attention that my role model, Bill, has been busy reinventing government and that started a train of thought--what about reinventing history. It is quite evident that most of our ancestors lived hard, worked hard, and died young. The record shows that they weren't always very nice to Native Americans, the foreign born or even each other. With historic traditions like that, is it any wonder that our evening news is so depressing? We, like the old guys who used to come to Historical Society meetings, should give history a more laid-back slant. It might turn out to be a positive influence on our present lifestyle.

In that spirit I will cite a little-known historical item: Many years ago, Jack Beale¹ and I had the honor of serving with Major Reading during the Boer War in McNamara's Band. We were repeatedly cited for conspicuous gallantry toward the opposite sex.

Any scholarly criticism or rebuttal to this oral history gem should be addressed to the Society, "attention Jack Beale." Any researcher who would like to share a similar Reinvented History Vignette is invited to submit it to the Society for publication, "attention Fiction Editor."

Now, about reinventing bureaucracy, your Society is right on the cutting edge. If something has occurred before, we route it to the individual who handled it last time. This system isn't perfect--after several years in someone's file folder, paper will get brittle and turn to dust. All strange and unusual communications are routed to the president who will either (a) leave it in his file folder on an even-numbered day or post it on the bulletin board on odd-numbered days; (b) refer it to the Directors, which is kind of fun; or (c) answer the communication in an honest, forthright manner, disclaiming all knowledge of the problem and referring the originator to the appropriate charitable agency or medical specialty.

Really truly, if you think the Society should do something, just show up and start doing it. Pretty soon you will have your own file.

--BTW.

===

¹Jack Beale was on the Shasta Historical Society Board at the time this was written. The reference to the Boer war was a ditty Bert used to use to see just how well-educated his audience was. 

Once Upon a Time (September 1993)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

Once upon a time there were lots of ways to keep the kids and us amused on Saturdays. There were Nubian goat shows, sheep dog trials, flea markets, shooting at tin cans, gold panning, berry picking and for the ultimate in sophistication, we would hang out at the new downtown mall.

Eventually we hit on Historical Society meetings and they were great. These funky old guys would sit around contradicting each other about some obscure place or event and later on they would all gang up and start interrupting the speaker. They put on a great show. Meanwhile, these sweet ladies would make sure everyone got enough cake and would stuff cookies into the kids' pockets. This was hog heaven. We never missed a meeting. Eventually, out of guilt, we started paying dues and volunteering. We had been conned by the great yarns those old guys told and by the homemade refreshments. 

Guess the point to be made here is that attending our programs is a lot more fun than your average goat show. Several of our members are quite witty and entertaining. And one should not be intimidated by not knowing much about area history. Just contradict any statement made. The odds are even that you will be correct and soon you will achieve recognition and stature as an authority.

--BTW

===

This is Not a Newsletter (August 1993)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

I have made this letter longer than usual
because I lack the tine to make it short. -Pascal

Back in July, Betty started feeling guilty because we hadn't done a newsletter and all kinds of stuff was still going on. But we said "no newsletter" in July and August, right in print. So, what I think we'll do is put all this good stuff in Betty's folder and when she thinks we have enough current material we will, by gosh, do a newsletter (if she checks her folder).

• Thanks to Jack and Evelyn Beale for digging lip a dedicated and enthusiastic corps of school house volunteers for the Shasta District Fair. And thanks to all you good folk who volunteered and represented the Society with dignity and couth.
• As a starting point for an Ed Davis obituary, there were two things I appreciated about him: a fellow never had to pussy-foot around to find out how Ed felt about any issue; and, when there was hard work to be done, Ed would jump in and do it before anyone else had a chance to. Ed will be missed.
• Have you ever observed that sleeping is something like eating Chinese food? An hour after you wake up you feel tired again.
• The trickle of nice comments about the newsletter has turned into a fair-size stream. THANK YOU! We haven't had a nasty letter in several months. Must be our critics have either died of apoplexy or quit paying dues. 

--BTW

===

Diplomacy (June 1993)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

The paper recently have been reviewing the record of President Clinton's first 100 days in office. Now I find it difficult to empathize with Rhodes Scholars, attorneys and folks from Arkansas. However, after nearly a year of presidential calisthenics, I can sure feel sorry for the poor kid. It just don't get any better, Bill.

Our year began with a memorable hike to the site of the Ruggles Brothers stage robbery. Because of the warm weather and booby traps along the road, our casualty list approached that of the holdup. No fatalities, though; good going, gang.

And wasn't it a hoot when the speaker for the November meeting took sick, and we had to improvise a do-it-yourself program. And didn't the Board--four dirty old men and Callie--have fun interviewing candidates for the Office Manager position. However, reason prevailed, and we hired a guy who was qualified--Wayne. And when the State required us to submit a "Safety Program." for Wayne`s protection guess who had to take time-out for the newsletter, down a couple of beers and make one up. It seems to have worked out all right; at least the "Safety Program" didn't appear in the newsletter.

On the diplomatic front, we mobilized when the city engineering department decided to tear down a stone substation dating from the turn of the century. We generated a barrage of irate letters and at their next meeting a sympathetic City Council was so eager to tell the City Manager to butt out that they forgot to ask for public comment. Pretty soon the whole affair started to sound like a Historical Society meeting. But what the heck, we won.

Something like Viet Nam happened when we opposed a loud but irresponsible effort to scrap a footbridge under construction on National Park Service land at the Tower House. Their plan was to build an inaccurate representation of a covered bridge instead. About that time, the County Supervisors, Senator Quentin Hook from San Francisco and the McClatchy newspaper chain came out four-square for apple pie, motherhood and covered bridges. At least they spelled my name right. That was when the newsletter started carrying inspirational messages about telephone pests. At this writing, a perfectly adequate steel bridge is in place, and I find I am smoking, drinking and cursing a lot less. The dog and Hillary seem happier too.

We still have a couple of domestic problems to deal with. Fair time is coming and Callie can't get the door to the school house open. Maude tells me that the coffee maker is leaking. I feel strongly that the Board has grounds to impeach me. I certainly hope that they see their duty and act promptly. 

--BTW

P. S. A love note to Betty Shurtleff and Al Weissberg praising their taste in newsletters and positive comments.

===

The Telephone (May 1993)

 This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

It is with unpardonable pride I report that the museum has acquired a nearly new telephone system. We anticipate that fewer incoming calls will go into communication limbo, once we master how to use "call forwarding" and the "hold" button. Be patient. Now instead of the usual ringing noise, the instrument for all the world sounds like a loon with its head caught in a sewing machine. This is the price of` progress.

Not too many years ago in Oak Run, the post office was near the postmistress' home. To facilitate government business, she rigged a clothesline from the post office to a cowbell in her residence. This allowed her to perform collateral duties at home and commute to work only when a customer jerked on the cord. However. as the community grew, it was able to acquire its own town drunk. At this point, the system was abused, usually late at night. This, too, was the price of progress.

Last month I touched on telephone etiquette, but neglected to cover the obligatory health warning. Our best scientific minds are concerned with the effect of electromagnetic force fields on our health. God knows what harm we are doing to our minds by holding a telephone right next to our head. Statistical evidence is abundant. Considering the consequences, I am appalled that anyone would mess up their mind by phoning us when it is possible to come in to the museum.

And, while we are on the subject, why does it cost more to phone Oak Run than San Francisco? Is it because it costs more to send uphill? Reader response is invited. Just phone the museum and ask for Wayne. 

--BTW

===

Suggestion Box (April 1993)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

It seems like two or three times a week we get a worthwhile suggestion or request from a member or the general public, something that really should be followed up on. There are a few constraints though. The activity should have something to do with the Society and its mission. Board approval is often required, and it is easier if we have the money and the time to get the job done. All of our large group of enthusiastic volunteers are already up to their necks in their own pet projects. There are several rules for initiating a project:

• It is helpful if you know exactly what needs to be done. For example, if you want a letter written, we should know who to send it to and what it should say.
• Your proposal should get to someone who can do something about it--an officer of the Society. We maintain an office where messages can be left. Any communication requiring more than 10 seconds of thought is automatically referred to the president.
• I can't speak for the rest of the Board, but my telephone is for the exclusive use of my helpmate, especially in the evenings. At that time I often eat meals, bathe and indulge in other activities requiring my full attention. Sometimes I drink too much and become incoherent, especially when working on the newsletter.
• And finally, the proper way to initiate a proposal is "If the Board agrees, I would like to ____ _____ _____."

--BTW

===

The Stone Building (March 1993)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

Have you ever noticed that in a year with normal rainfall and snow a phenomenon occurs sometime between New Years and St. Patrick's Day--folks who have been housebound too long get testy and maybe a little irrational. Petitions are circulated, relationships are strained and in extreme cases dogs get kicked. This year has been fairly noteworthy in this respect, but in the interest of minimizing hate mail, we will cite only one example.

In the best traditions of the Shasta Courrier and the Dial, on January 20th the local paper informed us that a stone structure that housed an electrical substation around the turn of the century was to be razed (razed, egad!) by an uncaring and ungrateful city government. A few phone calls later we discovered that this was not a full-scale "raze," but merely an "agenda item." Great relief--but no time to be lost. Networking and letter writing must begin immediately. These NATTERING NABOBS of NEGATIVISM will live to rue the day!

The incendiary blurb
(Record Searchlight, January 20, 1993)

But then a strange thing happened. Everyone we contacted--the Public, the Media, City Staff and the City Council--seemed genuinely interested in the history of the stone building and wanted to save it. The City Council meeting on February 16th was like a repeat of Valentines Day, and the razing became a non-event. Maybe the town of Redding after a hundred and some years has finally come of age and realizes that it has a past worth remembering.

One sidelight to this issue: While the adrenaline was flowing, the Society Directors voted to provide an interpretive plaque by the building. This was picked up by the media and whole-heartedly accepted by the City Council. Now we will have to foot the bill for the price of a plaque that will last as long as the stone structure. 

--BTW.

===

2023 Postscript: According to a local historian's blog post from 2018, the plaque and substation (which dates from 1897) are still there, however, they are surrounded by a fence, making it impossible to read the plaque. 

Valentines (February 1993)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

VALENTINES . . . in no particular order . . .

• To Treasurer Fred Beaker, who meekly digests a mess of unpaid bills, IOU s, checks &F! cash, & spits out a readable monthly financial statement . . .
• Seasonal strokes to Membership Lady Kathryn Raymond for keeping tabs on who lives where & why they didn't get their Covered Wagon . . .
• Posies to Callie Quint, who was a cheerleader in high school & never lost the attitude . . .
• Candy hearts to Librarians Hazel McKim, & Milton Black, who have produced order out of literary chaos . . .
• Bear hugs to Historical Groupies Marion Adams, Marie Carr, Maude Davis, Donna Goodrich, Mollie St. John, & Peter Walsh for their pioneer spirit organizing the rest of the collection . . .
• Purple Pulitzers Betty McKean for her talent & non-judgmental attitude in creating the tasteful sheet you see before you from a fistful of scrawled tripe . . .
• Roses (what else!) to Charlotte Rose Henry for elevating the pioneer plaque program to an art form . . .
• A serenade to the Darkroom Crew, Jean Beauchamp, Marlys Barbosa, Agnes Woodford, Mary Lou Nutley & Rick Ray for coping with an insatiable demand for prints from our collection . . .
• Undying admiration to the Board members for attacking the Society's problems in a positive way that makes meetings fun . . .
• Warmest personal regards to Editor Madge Walsh, who has produced an outstanding Covered Wagon and two above-average children & countless appetizing meals . .
• Forget-me-nots to those deserving folk I have forgotten to include . . .
• And 584 Pounds of chocolate bon-bons to our Members & Friends for their encouragement & Support.

--BTW

Truths (January 1993)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers should be aware that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

As we  start a new year, it would be appropriate to come up with some sort of cheery inspirational message. However, 40+ years of marginal employment in economically unsound, poorly maintained, unsafe industries with definite cash flow, leadership, and morale problems is lousy preparation for generating upbeat material. On the other hand, it is a great background for survival in Shasta County, California.

So. Let`s begin 1898 by dwelling on some basic truths all gleaned from people smarter than I am.

• Speak the truth but leave immediately after.
• If you don't have a memory like an elephant, leave tracks like one. (Quint's first law)
• If people concentrated on the really important things in life there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
• Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of. (Walsh's observation)
• An organization is very much like a septic tank--thc really big chunks always rise to the top.
• May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
• And above all, believe me, "The 1993 Covered Wagon is going to be the best one ever."

--BTW

Bert Thompson Walsh: Collected Editorials

Foreword by Madge R. Walsh, 1998

BERT T. WALSH was born in San Francisco in 1926. He attended Lowell High School and the California Maritime Academy, and sailed for Matson Navigation Company on the Matsonia and on the Standard Oil Company tanker H. D. Collier.

He volunteered as an ensign in the U. S. Navy in 1949, and again during the Korean War. He saw active duty from 1950 to 1952 on the USS Catamount, mostly in Japan and Korea, and mostly in the engine room. This was his first exposure to a steam power plant and he found it interesting.

Utilizing the GI Bill, he graduated from the University of California in June 1957 with a BS degree in Mechanical Engineering. As a licensed Professional Engineer in California, Oregon and Washington, he held engineering positions with various companies in San Francisco, Redding/Anderson, and Portland, Oregon.

He took early retirement in 1986 and returned to Redding [California] with his wife Madge. Here he resumed his volunteer activities with the Shasta Historical Society, serving on the Board of Directors 1990-1996, and as its president from 1992-1994.

The Newsletter was the responsibility of the president. Bert continued writing it at the request of his successor, Don Moore; production eventually was handled by the society's one employee, Wayne. 

Since most copies of the Newsletter get tossed into the "circular file," it seemed like a good idea to collate his editorials for our heirs and a few other people who might enjoy them. So here they are. 

===

Table of Contents

1992

• October 1992: Help Wanted
• November 1992: Annual Report
• December 1992: 65 Chairs

1993

• January 1993: Truths
• February 1993: Valentines
• March 1993: The Stone Building
• April 1993: Suggestion Box 
• May 1993: The Telephone
• June 1993: Diplomacy
• August 1993: This is Not a Newsletter
• September 1993: Once Upon a time
• October 1993: Annual Report
• November 1993: The Skunk
• December 1993: Yuletide Greetings
• Bonus: President's Message to the 1993 Covered Wagon

1994

• January 1984: The Mailbox
• February 1994: Target Practice
• March 1994: The Skunk, Part 2
• April 1994: Dues and Other Trivia
• May 1994: Math
• June 1994: A Puzzlement
• October 1994: President Emeritus, or The Meaning of Life
• November 1994: Hybridization
• December 1994: Fancy Coffee

1995

• January 1995: This Newsletter
• February 1995: Setting Fence Posts
• March 1995: James McSheehy
• April 1995: Hybridization, Part 2
• May 1995: Curation
• September 1995: The Bridges of Shasta County
• October 1995: Pig
• November 1995: Happy Thanksgiving
• December 1995: Database Enhancement Program

1996

• March 1996: Demographics
• April 1996: The Meaning of Life (continued) 
• May 1996: Membership

In June 1996, Jack Beale was installed as President for a two-year term. and was responsible for the Newsletter. Office Manager Wayne Rich continued to produce it, but in December became ill and was hospitalized. With the mailing deadline fast approaching, Betty McKean tried, but could not manage to write and format everything for the January 1997 newsletter, and asked Madge to do it. Bert contributed one more editorial. [MRW]

1997 and later

• January 1997: Political Correctness
• March 1999: Lost Treasure

65 Chairs (December 1992)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

Now just hold up a minute and listen good! I believe that we have a weird and sinister mechanism at work in our wholesome 100% American organization. And what's more, I can prove it on the computer just as soon as the memory bank gets back from the shop.

Each month we mail 570 newsletters. Of these, 125 go out of state or too far away for people to get here without abandoning their loved ones and responsibilities. This is sad but true. 110 recipients live in Whitmore, Ono, Montgomery Creek, etc. They only come to town when they need truck parts, cheap groceries, or embalming. I envy them. This leaves 335 households in or near town. Figuring 1.5 people per address, that's 502.5 individuals.

Now the spooky part. Every meeting we set up 65 chairs and exactly 65 people show up--but mainly different people each time. This makes it easy to set up seating and refreshments, but one can't help wondering why the numbers are always so consistent.

We have ten "events" each year, so I can only conclude that there is some kind of diabolic, hypnotic suggestion out there telling us we can only attend 1.29 happenings per year and specifying who comes to what meeting.

To this I say balderdash! It's time for us to take control of our lives. I wish to unequivocally state that anytime you wish to attend to a Society function, you should exercise your rights as a free-born American and do so.

--BTW

1992 Annual Report (November 1992)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

===

Way back on page 3 of the Bylaws, it states that the Board of Directors shall cause to be published an annual summary of activities and finances for the last year.

The activities part is easy. We had meetings, a bus trip, hikes, and opened up the school house at fair time. That's all in the newsletters. We kept the library open and helped people who were trying to find their ancestors or lost gold mines or wanted comments on environmental impacts or wanted to visit. We catalogued books and documents, answered most of the mail, put out the Newsletter and the Covered Wagon, put on Pioneer Plaque ceremonies and washed the dishes. We made photo prints, sold books, located graves, had directors' meetings, interfaced with the museum folk, kept track of the membership and tried to keep track of the money. With all that going on, we didn't really get much work done. Seems like things were simpler before Callie Quint came back to town.

The financial part can be stated simply. For the year ending June 30, 1992, income was $ 19,900. This was primarily from dues, interest and publications sales. We spent $18,238. The big item was printing the 1991 Covered Wagon, The rest was just petty larceny. Considering that as of September we had 542  memberships, we sure turned over a lot of money for a little "rinky dink" outfit.

--BTW

Help Wanted (October 1992)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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Every time we ask for help in some Society activity, we end up talking to some really nice people. This is kind of uplifting, so we are asking for help again in several areas. If you can meet our exacting requirements, please phone Callie or Bert. The opportunities for advancement are unlimited.

• Serve refreshments from time to time at meetings and Pioneer Plaque receptions. Requires clean fingernails--we can build on that.
• Selling publications at County Fair and Art Faire. Join an elite group in sitting on hard chairs. Must be able to make change.
• Publication distribution. Must be able to count books and make out legible bills. Ability to collect bills is a definite plus.
• Office/clerical grunt work. Involves some exposure to Apple computer and historical trivia. Much exposure to Callie Quint.*
• Cemetery Book, locating pioneer burials from obscure clues. Dealing with irate pot farmers and people who think you are some kind of nut. Some graves require permanent markers, but we can get to that later.
• Proof readers/fact checkers for Covered Wagon articles. Must be infallible and persistent. This offer does not apply to employees of John P. Scripps newspapers or this sheet.

If you see some other area where we should be doing something and are willing to help. please get in touch. I guess that the point of this is that most of the work that keeps your Society going is pretty routine stuff. But we have a lot of fun at it and would like to share all this fun with vou! 

--BTW

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*Callie Quint was an exuberant key volunteer--and early adopter of Macintosh computers--for the Shasta Historical Society from the 1970s to well into the 1990s. An article outlining her contributions to are featured in the Society's annual publication, The Covered Wagon 1999, pp 8-13. The publication is available for purchase from the Shasta Historical Society.

"Close friends and admirers of Callie Quint (she was named California but has always preferred to be known by her nickname) told her that they thought the record of her important contributions to the Shasta Historical Society should be preserved in the pages of The Covered Wagon, rather than entrusting to the fleeting memories of those with whom she had worked. The following is her response."

Callie and her beloved Mac in 1999

 

Lost Treasure (March 1999)

This post is part of a series of editorials written by Bert Walsh during his tenure as president and past president of the Shasta Historical Society. Readers are advised that his humor is often irreverent and rarely politically correct. 

Click here for the table of contents for the entire collection of his editorials.

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This seems like an appropriate time to share a fable of lost treasure with our readers. After all, if we all cooperate in a systematic search, we could well find great wealth, a more opulent lifestyle, and happiness beyond our wildest dreams.

The tale itself is fascinating. It involves a past president of the society; We will call him “Don.” Several years ago, Don was returning home from a St. Patrick's Day observance at Horsetown. It was a foggy day, and rather than cope with hazardous driving conditions Don prudently stopped off at what he took to be a video game arcade. Actually it was the Win River Casino.

Quite possibly the machine that Don decided to play could have been a little out of adjustment, because he noticed that he was accumulating quite a few of what he believed were free games.

Well, time passed pleasantly enough. After an hour or so, a well-dressed, soft-spoken man approached Don, gave him an envelope and escorted him to his car.

The fog seemed to be clearing a little, so Don resumed his way north. After a bit, he became curious about the contents of the envelope the man had given him, so he pulled over and opened it. It is difficult to imagine his emotions when he discovered that the envelope was stuffed with hundred dollar bills.

After the initial shock and astonishment one would expect that thoughts of the many worthy charitable acts were now possible flooded his brain. Fortunately, Camp's Sporting Goods store was closed at this time. But then a horrible scenario came to mind: with all this cash in hand, he was vulnerable. At any moment he could be set upon by hoodlums, muggers, con men, friends, and family and lose it all. What to do? Panic resulted in an inspiration. He drove post haste to the security of the Shasta Historical Society, dashed inside, and slipped the envelope full of bills between the leaves of a book in the library. Save at last! No one would ever find the treasure there.

However, the next morning a complication occurred to Don. In his enhanced emotional state, he had to neglected to note the title of the book that now held the fabulous treasure.

This is why Don now spends most of his time in the Society library browsing through volumes of our extensive collection. This is slow going, because he gets interested and stops to read the books period moreover, we keep adding books to the collection.

I think that our astute readers can now grasp the crux of the problem. Don needs help. It's going to be a rainy spring and except for steelhead fishing there's not much else to do. So let's all get down to some really serious library browsing. This could be rewarding in more ways than one. Several of our books are quite interesting.

--BTW

Seelen

Long before baking bread became a popular pandemic activity, my darling husband would rise early on a Sunday morning and continue his quest to bake the perfect Seelen. He had varying success, until one June morning he produced spectacularly crusty Seelen. He posted the result on social media, prompting many to ask just what Seelen were. 

Seelen, literally "souls," are the bread found in the pocket of Swabia whence my darling husband originates. They are a staple of the German breakfast table, slathered in butter, bedecked with cold cuts, sometimes anointed with chocolate hazelnut spread. As one does. 

Alfred Jr.'s Seelen

As reactions to the photos of Seelen were still pouring in, darling husband was gathered with his family to share salty tears and Seelen with his family. For while he was baking, his father had begun slipping towards the other side. Alfred Hellstern Sr. passed the threshold in the wee hours of our morning, shortly after his son arrived in the Vaterland.

Seelen were originally small loaves placed on graves for All Soul's Day. But they're so good with fresh butter, it would be a waste to not share it with the living, and make it daily. 

This is where I admonish you to hold your family tight, and perhaps share a crusty loaf with those you love. Because all too soon, we must say goodbye.

The last farewell